The Monks of New Skete, a monastic community in upstate New York, are not only known for their spiritual dedication but also for their deep understanding of dog training and canine companionship. Their book, How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend, offers a comprehensive guide to forming a meaningful, lifelong bond with your dog based on trust, discipline, and love. The wisdom in this book is as much about personal growth as it is about pet care. Here are some of the key principles that can help anyone become a better dog owner—and a better human being in the process.
The Foundation of Trust: Leadership Through Love
At the heart of How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend is the idea that dogs need consistent, loving leadership. The Monks emphasize that being a good leader doesn’t mean being authoritarian—it means being someone your dog can rely on. Dogs, by nature, are pack animals and look to their human companions for structure and direction.
Leadership is best expressed through calm confidence, not force. For example, a dog needs to understand boundaries, but these should be taught with patience, not fear. The Monks advocate for clear commands, gentle corrections, and frequent praise. When a dog knows what is expected and feels secure in their role within the “pack,” they become more relaxed, obedient, and happy.
Training as a Dialogue, Not a Dictation
Training your dog is not a one-sided command session; it’s a continuous conversation built on mutual respect. According to the Monks, effective training happens when we listen as much as we direct. Observing your dog’s body language, energy levels, and emotional state allows you to respond in ways that are more likely to be successful and constructive.
The book encourages positive reinforcement techniques but balances them with the importance of timely corrections. For example, rewarding a dog for coming when called reinforces the behavior, but ignoring or gently correcting a refusal to come can be equally important. The Monks’ approach avoids extremes: it’s neither permissive nor harsh, but instead rooted in common sense and sensitivity.
The Importance of Routine and Discipline
Dogs thrive on consistency. The Monks stress that a daily routine—feeding, walking, training, rest—creates a rhythm that provides security for your dog. Just like humans, dogs feel more confident and calm when their day is predictable.
Discipline, in this context, doesn’t mean punishment. It means structure. For example, teaching a dog to wait patiently at the door before going outside teaches impulse control. Expecting a dog to sit before getting a treat or to heel while walking is not about dominance, but about creating respectful behavior that improves your dog’s quality of life—and yours.
Crate training, regular obedience sessions, and consistent responses to behavior all contribute to a well-adjusted dog. Discipline is how you show love in a form that a dog understands—through guidance and boundaries.
The Spiritual Connection: Patience, Presence, and Compassion
One of the most unique aspects of the Monks’ philosophy is the spiritual dimension they bring to dog ownership. They view the bond between human and dog as sacred. Training and living with a dog isn’t just about results—it’s a journey of patience, presence, and personal growth.
By slowing down and engaging fully with your dog, you cultivate mindfulnesss. Dogs live in the present moment; they aren’t burdened by regrets or anxieties. Spending time with them—truly being with them—can be a powerful lesson in presence and unconditional love.
Moreover, the monks emphasize that compassion should underlie every interaction with your dog. Whether you’re correcting a behavior or simply sharing a quiet moment, your dog should feel safe, loved, and respected.
Conclusion
How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend offers more than a training manual—it’s a philosophy for living harmoniously with one of life’s most loyal companions. The Monks of New Skete remind us that to be our dog’s best friend, we must be steady leaders, attentive listeners, and compassionate guardians. By doing so, we don’t just raise better dogs—we become better people.
Whether you’re raising a puppy or looking to deepen your relationship with an older dog, this book provides timeless, heartfelt advice that continues to resonate with dog lovers around the world.
